Film Riot one minute short film submission

I took part in the Film Riot Filmstro contest. This is my submission! 

My biggest issue for sure was keeping the pacing smooth and still meeting the one minute mark. 

All of the Barriers and the .30cal machine gun I built by hand in my garage. Then I rented out Pontiact lake beach to film. This is for sure the film I’ve put the most work into.

https://youtu.be/i77XKZLd9n8

Comments

  • I think it's a pretty solid video! Cool bro!

    There were some edits that could be refined a little I feel... however, it's a good video overall!

  • Nice job!  On the pro side, I like your camera work, effects and grading.  These work well to help set the mood of the moment.  Your casting choices are good as well.  The left guy comes across as more mature and in-control, the right guy as more of a rookie who's willing to fight but fears losing his leader.

    Cons: Some of the dialog is a little cliché.  I agree that the editing could be tightened up a bit.  The biggest issue for me is that it's a little unclear who they're fighting against.  The opening title sets the overall scene, and the guy on the left says (I think) "There's a gunner about six hundred meters out" (the dialog could be mixed a bit louder), but part of me wants to see even some hint of the enemy so I can visualize what they're up against.  This is film, after all.  It's visual storytelling.  With conflict this dramatic, if all we ever see are the protagonists, the story kinda feels one-sided.  It needs one or two cutaway shots of where the enemy gunner is hiding.  Just have the muzzle of a gun poking out between some bushes or something like that.  Capture this scene in a few different ways -- close up, mid, wide -- and intersperse these shots with the others, and it would raise the tension a ton IMO.

  • Triem23Triem23 Moderator

    Lotta work on display there. Some good camera angles, and bonus points for construction of props.

    Otherwise, I mostly agree with @jsbarrett although I felt our heroes were fighting Germans. Outfits look WWII to me, and, if course the barricades are classic Normandy. 

  • Thank you guys for your critique! I am always looking for ways to better my films!  

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