Star Wars - The Picnic

well heres the next Starwars related video we did. over all pretty happy with what we got, its hard with a 5 and 6 year old to get the shots i wanted but i focused the whole video of an idea i had with them finding a Lightsaber without parents noticing.

not as much Lightsaber effects in this one,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OcQozGz8VE

Comments

  • Cute!  The overall story is set up pretty well, and kudos to the kids for being such cooperative filmmakers.  You definitely got some nice shots!

    The main thing that it feels like it needs is a tighter edit.  It feels like it drags.  Many shots could be shortened to pick up the pace a bit, and maybe one or two shots could be cut altogether.  It's tempting to put in all the shots and angles that were captured during filming, but you need to be selective about picking the very best ones and sculpting them to create something that has good narrative flow.  Overall, it could probably be trimmed down to about two minutes without feeling rushed.

  • You didn't really ask for comments or suggestions, so I hope this doesn't feel like an attack, but I agree with jsbarret.  Cute video, but it needs to be tightened up a lot.  It does drag throughout.  A good example of what's better are the jump-cuts where they kick the ball into the weeds several times.  The pacing felt more lively there, more engaging.  The whole story in less than 2 minutes (maybe even 90 seconds) would feel much more satisfying.

    Also, don't give away the "punch line" too soon -- I wouldn't have the light sabre stuff at the very beginning at all.  And probably no mention of it even in the title or description of the video.  I'd put those first few seconds of fighting at the very end as a closer.  Wide shot "where are the kids", "probably having fun somewhere", then after they go out of frame from the wide shot, switch to the close-up of the battle as the final shot.  (Roll credits, add bloopers, etc.)

    But overall pretty good, a good variety of shots.  Clearly a lot of work went into this.

  • hey no, i really appreciative the feed back. I'm not massively experienced in film making, i work in IT and just doing this with the kids for something to do together but im really enjoying the learning along the way.

    the main reason i post here is for the feedback from people much more experienced than myself.

    Everything you both say makes perfect sense. Im going to try and be more brutal in editing to pick up the pace 

    Thanks again for the help, as someone that doesnt know much about film making, positive criticism is ideal and i really appreciate the time you took for comments.

    Ill be back soon...

  • Good movie. Kids look funny fighting with swords.

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