FEEDBACK NEEDED - Animated Short for my Short Story Module for University

Hi, I'm a student studying Computer Animation and Visual Effects, I've created a 2D animated short for one of modules and would really appreciate some feedback on it. 

- As it's a short story module the most important thing I'd like to know is if you could follow the story?

-What would you change?

 

(P.S. I understand the Animation isn't perfect or up to scratch, I tore the ligaments in my wrist which made drawing and this module in particular very difficult.)

https://vimeo.com/195507492

Thanks, 

Josh 

 

Comments

  • Well I certainly got the sort alright and I thought the style of animation fitted well, kind of gritty. Only comment is the end maybe the last bet should show him risking it all eg. Lots of notes handed over our the tally showing new sub 200 figure. But very good a lot of work and nicely paced.

  • @josh195  You certainly got the animation down.  Even with a bum hand you art is exponentially better than anything I could draw and I agree with Andy001z that the style was fitting.  I was a little unclear that he lost everything on the last bet at first, but since I am clueless about the track that could be the problem. It doesn't really need changing at all, but a couple of what ifs.  At the beginning you show him pull his last bill out of his wallet to place the first wager; what do you think about bringing that up as a "sort of" running bit showing after the wins getting fatter and fatter and then after the last it being completely empty if that didn't make you run too long or something.   You might even show that picture of Lucy again after he looks in the empty wallet but her expression could morph to one of disappointment/disapproval.  

  • Nice work on the hoarse animations that must have drove you to tears 

  • Nice work! Love the rough style on the linework, and the story makes its point. 

    Poor Lucy. 

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